How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I want is dick and wine.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
