So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
