i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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