it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just found puke in my bra..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
my liver is dry heaving
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
