i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
