why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
