this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
