Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
