so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
