i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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