You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
