shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
