well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
