Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
