i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
