Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
