So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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