but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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