2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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