I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Every concussion has its silver lining
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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