just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
