and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
