I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
