I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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