i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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