I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
