He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
