What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
