That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
