yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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