so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
