So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
