My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
