she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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