Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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