tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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