I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Houston, we have a squirter
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
