Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
