Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
