when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
