His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
