This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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