Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
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I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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