Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
