how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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