Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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