Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
