I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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