my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize