TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
