I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
