my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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