someone get that fucking seahorse.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My ass is underappreciated
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize