I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
