just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
