Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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