its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
