She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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