She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
