dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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