I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize