wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
