We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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