i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
