I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
