I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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