No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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