Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
